If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
