dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
