There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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