did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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