I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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