Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
