may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
