so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize