I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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