covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
