do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
