this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
