I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
