Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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