Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
