i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
