make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
