My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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