The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
