well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
