I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
