I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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