sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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