That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
