The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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