he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
