yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
