It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
