ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize