so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize