I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
