bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
