Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize