No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
