grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize