I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
