How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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