she looked like the bat from fern gully.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
