why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
