Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
