Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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