i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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