Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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