In the future we'll all be gay
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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