So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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