It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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