At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
