She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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