so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
