Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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