it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
