I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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