I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
