if i can run in heels then i can drive
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
