take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
