if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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