Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
