Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
