he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we have officially lost it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
