Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
