I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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