So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize