dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
