so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
