I'm drive I can fine osifer
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
