I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
