similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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