And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
