DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
